


maybe gonna need a new code name after this

by suzukiblu



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous Set-Up, Animal Transformation, Asgard Collect Your People, Everyone Likes To Jump Off High Places, Gen, Sam Wilson Did Not Sign Up For This
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 00:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3337529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suzukiblu/pseuds/suzukiblu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What the hell, Nat?!” Sam yells as she drops out of nowhere and uses him as a mid-air springboard to vault on top of a passing--well, Sam doesn’t actually know what the thing is, but it’s the size of an elephant and trying to trample some civilians, so yeah. </p><p>“Rogers said you had a moment,” she replies mildly, wrists sparking threateningly as she whips out a garotte from God knows where. </p><p>“Oh for the love of--I hate you and I blame you,” Sam swears into the comms. Steve just snickers across the line, that All-American <i>bastard</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe gonna need a new code name after this

**Author's Note:**

> Rainne visited a writing challenge upon me as I suffered from writer’s block. Said challenge was “the story of how Sam Wilson got turned into a ferret” and literally nothing else. Therefore, that is what I present to you now.

“What the hell, Nat?!” Sam yells as she drops out of nowhere and uses him as a mid-air springboard to vault on top of a passing--well, Sam doesn’t actually know what the thing is, but it’s the size of an elephant and trying to trample some civilians, so yeah. 

“Rogers said you had a moment,” she replies mildly, wrists sparking threateningly as she whips out a garotte from God knows where. 

“Oh for the love of--I hate you and I blame you,” Sam swears into the comms. Steve just snickers across the line, that All-American _bastard_. 

“Nice to meet you too, new guy,” Hawkeye greets casually as he drops off a nearby roof. The arrow he fires passes disturbingly close to Sam’s neck and blows up something or possibly some _one_ behind him. Sam curses and zips in to catch the guy by the ankles right before he would’ve crashed head-first through a skylight. Hawkeye shoots again, visibly unconcerned by nearly breaking his neck, and something _(one?)_ else explodes. 

“You are all suicidal idiots,” Sam informs him darkly. 

“Drop me off on that building,” Hawkeye replies distractedly, pointing with an arrow. And then blowing up the many horrible Asgardian monsters on top of said building with said arrow. 

Well, at least he bothered to clear the way for himself, that’s _almost_ a good sign, Sam thinks resignedly, veering towards it and dropping him from slightly higher than advisable, maybe. Hawkeye lands in a roll and comes up firing, so . . . yeah. 

Goddamn superheroes. 

“By the way, Sam, if you’re not too busy I could use a hand over on Third,” Steve mentions, which is Steve for _“I jumped from someplace very high up at least a good ten seconds ago”_. Sam curses loudly and only makes it in time to keep Captain _fucking_ America from ending up street pizza by the grace of God and Tony Stark’s latest set of midnight caffeine-bender upgrades to the EXO-7. 

“I hate you so much,” he swears again as he drops Steve on a cafe table and then pulls up to get some altitude and a bird’s eye view of the battle. Steve lands with disgusting grace and gives him a cocky little salute before whipping his shield at another looming . . . whatever these things are, seriously, Sam did not sign up for this. Sam signed up for shadowy spy organizations full of double agents and breakfast at stupid-ass hours of the morning and the occasional brainwashed super-assassin, at _best_. Even that last one he was pretty iffy on, frankly. 

Speaking of. 

“Is that a _rocket_ launcher?” he asks incredulously, looping a circle in the air over Barnes, who first of all was last spotted in Algiers and secondly is busy setting up said rocket launcher on a roof covered in dead monsters. The thing actually looks closer to a surface to air missile but he’s holding it with one arm, so . . . 

Jesus, these _people_. He is never having a normal life again. 

“Quiet,” Barnes says, frowning up at him. Sam is not comforted by the Russian tinge to his accent. Did he have that in DC? That seems like something that should’ve come up, him having that in DC. “The captain will identify my position.” 

“You about to _shoot_ the captain?” Sam asks warily as he takes another pass, eyeing the rocket launcher. Barnes snorts derisively, braces it against his shoulder, and fires. The giant fucking hellbeast Natasha’s fighting goes down screaming and on fire, which is . . . which is something, all right, god _damn_. “Okay then. Need a ride?” 

“No,” Barnes says, picking up _another_ fucking rocket launcher. 

“Okay then,” Sam repeats, deciding on the better part of valor and clearing out of there while the getting’s good. The Hulk is smashing up a few more of the big guys, Iron Man’s blasting AC/DC and picking off the low-level fliers while Thor electrocutes the higher-ups, and Natasha appears to have teamed up with Steve, so Sam just writes off that entire block as a lost cause and hopes all the businesses on it have insurance. 

And then he runs into a woman in Asgardian armor in mid-air, which is unexpected but more importantly _troubling_ , especially because she is really, really not pleased about it. 

Also, she’s definitely not Sif, which doesn’t exactly bode well. 

“Agh,” Sam says. 

_“Fool!”_ the woman snarls, eyes narrowed as she whips a hand up. It’s glowing, which does _really_ not bode well. 

Intensely green light blasts out of her fingers and hits Sam in the chest, throwing him backwards and dropping him out of the sky and into a very, very unsafe spiral as pain bursts in his head. All he can see is blinding light and sparking green and then the roof for about two seconds before he hits it. The pain intensifies, spiking out viciously into the rest of his body, and Sam curls in on himself with a scream as it overwhelms him, worse than anything else he’s ever felt. 

“I said _quiet_ ,” Barnes says in annoyance, squinting down at him. Sam muffles the next scream biting down on his forearm and has exactly enough mental presence past the agony to imagine stabbing him in the damn gimp mask. Also, this is not even the same roof he _left_ the bastard on, what even--

Why is there fur in his mouth. 

Barnes makes an intrigued noise, the agony fucking _quadruples_ , and Sam mercifully passes out. 

“. . . kidding me, Bucky, what the hell,” Steve is saying in disbelief when he comes to again, dizzy and aching and feeling very, very wrong. 

And very, very _tiny_. 

What the fuck. 

“He’s cute,” Barnes says reasonably, petting Sam’s head and then poking critically at his vulnerable belly with a metal finger. Sam bites it automatically, which is a mistake, but also makes it very easy to see his changed reflection in the well-polished shine of Barnes’s hand. 

“What the fuck,” Sam says with a tiny ferret mouth, voice flat. Steve’s eyebrows shoot up. Barnes looks pleased, and pets Sam’s head again. 

“Cute _and_ useful for reconnaissance,” he says.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://suzukiblu.tumblr.com/)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [maybe gonna need a new codename after this [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4050277) by [blackglass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackglass/pseuds/blackglass)




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